Life throws challenges at all of us. Some days, you're on top of the world. Other days, you're questioning everything. The difference between those who thrive and those who survive comes down to one thing: purpose.
But here's the truth that Doug and I have learned through countless conversations and our respective journeys: finding your purpose isn't about waiting for lightning to strike. It's about digging deep, doing the work, and committing to forward motion, even when the path isn't clear.
What Does Purpose Mean?
Purpose isn't a destination. It's not some magical career or calling that will suddenly make everything perfect. Purpose is a way of moving through the world. It's the lens through which you see your actions and the impact they create.
Here's what purpose isn't:
- A perfect job description
- Something that arrives fully formed
- The same for everyone
- Static and unchanging
Purpose evolves as you do. What matters is that it gives meaning to your daily actions, guiding you forward instead of keeping you stuck.
The Compass, Not the Map
Too many people wait for a detailed roadmap to their purpose. That's the wrong approach. Purpose is your compass, and it gives you direction without dictating every turn.
When I built my business, I didn't have a perfect plan. What I had was a sense that I needed to create something that mattered, something that would support my family and make a difference. That compass guided my decisions, even when the path got rough.
Doug often talks about how fatherhood shifted his purpose. His compass changed direction, pointing him toward being present and setting an example for his children. His definition of success transformed, but his forward momentum never stopped.
In Episode 5, Doug and I discussed how difficult it can be to live in alignment with your core values. We both agreed that integrity is essential: fulfilling the promises you make, especially to your family. Your purpose often emerges from this alignment between your daily actions and your deepest values.
As Doug said during that conversation, "Being committed around your core values is also a positive influence on your family. It teaches your loved ones how to be true to themselves and learn discipline."
How To Uncover Your Purpose
Your path to purpose will be unique, but you can use these steps as signposts to help you get there.
1. Identify Your Non-Negotiables
What are the values you refuse to compromise on? List them out. For me, integrity and commitment are at the top. I need to be someone who does what he says. Doug's list starts with family and authentic relationships. Your non-negotiables become the foundation of your purpose.
2. Take Stock of Your Natural Strengths
What comes easily to you that others find difficult? Sometimes, we dismiss these things because they're second nature. Don't. They're signposts to your purpose.
This isn't about being perfect. It's about recognizing where you naturally excel and leaning into those areas. Purpose lives at the intersection of what you're good at and what matters to you.
3. Analyze Your Moments of Flow
Remember those times when you were so engaged in something that you lost track of time? Those flow states reveal something crucial about what energizes you.
Make a list of the last five times you experienced flow. What patterns emerge? These patterns are all the clues you need.
4. Examine Your Childhood Dreams
Before life piled on expectations, what did you naturally gravitate toward? Your eight-year-old self knew something about what makes you come alive.
When Doug and I talk about our childhoods, we always come back to sports. Not because we were destined to be professional athletes, but because competition taught us about resilience and pushing through difficulty—themes that still drive us today.
5. Seek Feedback From Your Inner Circle
Ask three people who know you well: "When have you seen me at my best?" Their answers might surprise you and reveal blind spots in your self-perception.
6. Test and Iterate
Purpose isn't theoretical, it's practical. Once you have ideas about what might align with your purpose, test them in the real world. Volunteer. Take a class. Start a side project.
The key is action. You can't think your way to purpose; you have to live your way there.
The Power of Small Commitments
Finding your purpose doesn't require quitting your job tomorrow or making dramatic life changes. It starts with small, consistent commitments that align with your emerging sense of purpose.
When I was trying to figure out my path forward, I didn't immediately launch a company. I started by taking on small projects that interested me, learning what energized me and what drained me. Each project was a step forward, never in reverse.
Purpose Through Adversity
Often, our deepest sense of purpose emerges from our greatest challenges. The resilience you build through difficulty becomes the foundation for meaningful action.
Doug and I had childhoods that forced us to grow up fast. Those early lessons in grit didn't define our purpose, but they gave us the tools to pursue it relentlessly once we found it.
Look at your own challenges. What have they taught you? How have they shaped your perspective? There's a purpose hidden in those lessons.
The Shifting Nature of Purpose
Your purpose at 25 won't be the same at 45. As you grow and change, your sense of what matters evolves. What remains constant is the need to keep moving forward, adjusting your compass as new insights emerge.
I used to think success was all about the next deal, the next achievement. "Two more deals" was my mantra, always pushing for more. My family had to point out what I was missing to help me realize I needed more than professional achievement.
In Episode 7, Doug and I explored gratitude and contentment. We discussed how difficult it can be to slow down when you're constantly taking on new projects. I introduced the concept of "successful contentment": taking time to recognize your achievements and appreciate the work that contributed to them.
Finding your purpose involves acknowledging where you are and how far you've come. Your purpose evolves through this reflection.
When You Feel Lost
There will be times when your sense of purpose feels cloudy or when life throws you so far off course that you question everything. That's normal. It's part of the journey.
When Doug and I discussed resilience in Episode 8, we talked about how to push through difficult times. Finding your purpose often requires this same resilience, the ability to keep moving forward when the path isn't clear.
As I mentioned in that conversation, "Resilience is about carrying on after a failure." Your purpose might become clearer after facing setbacks because challenges reveal what truly matters to you.
In those moments, return to your non-negotiables. Reconnect with the values that remain true regardless of circumstances. Then take one small step forward, even if you can't see the whole path.
The Courage To Create Purpose
Here's what Doug and I have learned through countless conversations with successful people: purpose is often created rather than discovered.
You have the power to decide what matters to you and to build a life around those priorities. Invoke the courage to define success on your own terms rather than accepting someone else's definition.
Your Purpose Impacts Others
Do not think that finding your purpose is selfish cause it isn’t. When you live with intention and direction, you become a blueprint for others. Remember that your children, your team, and your friends are watching how you navigate life's challenges.
In Episode 6, we explored the importance of listening and showing up authentically for others. Doug shared how he helps his dyslexic daughter with her language arts papers. It was a small moment that meant everything to her. These moments of presence often reveal a deeper purpose.
As we discussed, "showing up authentically is especially important in conversations with our loved ones." Your purpose frequently emerges through these connections.
Doug talks about showing up for his family even after exhausting workdays. That's purpose in action. It's choosing to be present because you've decided that's who you want to be in the world.
Start Now, Perfect Later
The biggest obstacle to finding your purpose is waiting for perfect clarity before taking action. Clarity rarely comes all at once.
Start now. Take one step toward something that matters to you. Pay attention to how it feels. Learn. Adjust. Keep moving forward.
After all, life only moves in one direction. Never in reverse.
Jeremy Axel is the co-host of the Never in Reverse podcast alongside Doug Cox. Together, they explore topics related to resilience, leadership, personal growth, and family through honest conversation and real-world experience.
